Sumptous sunday...

after full cream porridge for breakfast + cheesy mixed herb macroni & garlic lasagna for lunch , khichdi , besan and tadka for dinner tasted heavenly like never before :) jai maharashtra...

Joy to the world...the Lord has come...

Happy b'day  Christ :)

23rd December 1997

Christmas at Mount Carmel, class VIII(1997) :-)

Tableau vivant alongside the choir which sang the carol:

We three kings of Orient Are..Bearing gifts we traverse afar...Field and fountain, moor and mountain, Following yonder star...(me in blue as Mother Mary)

if only we had digi cams those days... i wish i find the other few pics that i had...i wish my walkie talkie baby doll still works as she did some 20 yrs back...

Santa are u listening...???

An end...or another beginning?

today a lengthy, cliched chapter comes to an end...i hate it when an end does not mean an end ... God forbid any type of resurrection whatsoever...

Mary's Boy Child, Jesus Christ was born on Christmas Day...

 Long time ago in Bethlehem
So the Holy Bible say
Mary's Boy Child, Jesus Christ
Was born on Christmas Day
Hark, now hear the angels sing
"New King's born today
And man will live forevermore
Because of Christmas Day."

Joseph and his wife Mary
Came to Bethlehem that night
They found no place to bear her Child
Not a single room in sight
Trumpets sound and angels sing
Listen to what they say
That man will live forevermore
Because of Christmas Day

cant remember more of the carol...
i still remember how proud i had felt when this carol was played in the movie "titanic" and i sang along to a non carmelite friend who stared at me as if Cameron had stolen my song for his movie :)...i am soooooooooo badly missing school specially this week :((

If only....

why cant we just stop thinking? an analytical mind can be so disastrous, i never heeded ...why did i ever teach myself to think detached? anticipating acknowledgements, reciprocations or for a matter of fact simply (universally)sane behaviour is an "expectation"? since when? or i am not defining "expectations" in the correct way?...can the sanest of the sane remain unfazed even with the knowledge that the people in concern are naive, impressionable and easily influenced...if only...if only i knew where did i go wrong? both rationally and morally?   

Newer meanings...

        Life's funny...it teaches u something through an experience and overwrites its teachings about the previous mental association of the situation through a new set of experiences leaving ur grey matter to ponder over which association is stronger...i always associated instincts with power...i recently discovered its association with vulnerability...i learnt not to make use of instincts every time...relying on ur instincts, somewhere gets ur bare emotions involved where they dont deserve to be...& emotions are meant to weaken...i was wondering of late , how on this earth did  my practically inaccessible to the world emotions suddenly become vulnerable enough to catalyse my mental prowess...the answer is unnecesarry use of instincts...lesson learnt- even the instincts are meant to be used only for concentric circumferences of mine...
       One liners abruptly feeling like talking 'bout :
Life:- today
Friendship:- balance of virtues
Insecurity:- underconfidence
Hatred - Jealousy ( u hate the one u yearn to be like & just cant be)
God-  Logic openly defied
Destiny- Logic openly defied
Love - Logic openly defied
           Intrestingly God, Destiny & Love to me mean the same thing....the "ones that are not meant to be deciphered on the alters of logic "
          Now i know the former & latter parts of the above  text or whatever have nothing to do with each other....but thats how a blurt is supposed to be....isnt it?

Healing "brands"

Retail therapy worked.....:) lately shopping did not much affect me...but today after a long time it made me happy again...maybe coz it was semi "drop dead" shopping today...after a long time..i  popped beyond architecturally appreciating the building & the interiors & actually focused on "pure" shopping...thanks to the great collection - Biba, melagne, ginger, fame forever,max , global desi & so on...

...And gravity takes it all

One of my weird thought sets' thought - "optimism the geoscientific way" -the earth also wants you to be happy...(the poet in me isn't speaking this).. scientifically...the gravitational force acts on  the ocular salinity to suck it off...whereas it fails to act on the concave facial curve...lucidly said...the earth takes away your tears but cannot scientifically affect your smile..(with an exception of an earthquake)...

Penultimate acquiescence ....

Tera tujhko saunp de.....kya lagat hai mor....mera mujhme...kuch nahi...jo hovat so tor...
Selfless faith...human or divine?...

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening...

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there's some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

One of the most beautiful poems i have ever read....Gosh..its been 15 long years...i still very clearly remember sunita miss's(my english teacher's) reaction when i had summarized this poem in the class....  class V (A)...:)...maybe for a 9 year old even attempting to decipher a Robert Frost masterpiece at that time was unimaginable but now when i look back at those daysi feel...i had only sparingly understood the gist then...& as for what i know of it today...time's running...i should spare time only to take a deep breath & resume fulfillments...coz i may be sleepy any time...

Life is strange...

Life is strange....it defies all logic the moment you feel you are in full control of it....its like...you smile in triumph at your perfect anticipations & life says "picture abhi baki hai mere dost"...its kinda crazy to be pitted against your life to colonise it & it hits back giving pleasant & unpleasant surprises, unfulfilled expectations & bliss beyond expectations, incorrect judgements & so on...its crazier to contemplate whether your life is your friend or foe: (courtsey to the thought - the stupendous ups & downs life offers)......&......its craziest to be not able to decide who should actually win(you or your life) ....since its life who knows the unforeseen not you...

Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan - A legend...

sawan beeto jaye ...

Conditions apply...

sinus says...it'll let me live ....conditions - stay away from all those things you love the most... fair deal ?

Somethings last forever...

Since quite a long time that dilapidated sight was stirring a lot of emotions in me....everytime i used to look at it i tried to rotate my head as well as my thoughts...running away from it was something which was more botheresome ... finally today i stopped by the salvage & pondered over something that can never be recuperated...it might sound dramatic but even the most practical section of my brain could'nt stop me from actually visualizing "tuning forks"(our rock band)in the heap of dust where it stood sometime back ...it took me not more than 5 mins to re travel from the day way back in august 2003 when i, for the first time entered the rehearsal room as a nervous singer, the later days of sheer dedication to riyaz, the days of rehearsals all day & submissions all night, the days of swollen fingers coz of the guitar pick, the summer of 69 performances,the preparations for inter-collegiates, the cutting chais,the ccd partys... the fasts before every performance...the barefoot performances...Sir's small treat after every performance...to my last day in college & at "tuning forks"....
i sincerely wished if only for one more time i could see abhi on the synth, rahul on the guitar, akash on the tabla, nandu on the octopad , amit on the drums, me on the lead & Sir with his hand on my head saying "beta ashich gaat raha" ...
music will remain with me forever...but the medium that let me experiment with it (tuning forks) & the medium the let me exhibit it & won it overwhelming responses(the auditorium) for 5 long years are no more existant..."buildings live"...the masters say...i cudnt understand this better than today...coz today i mourned at the loss of "buildings" as i would have for someone alive...

The song which I will always and forever associate with TUNING FORKS

Alter ego...

Kal raat ek beshakal si

awaaz ne chauka diya

maine kaha tu kaun hai

usne kaha awargi

its said that the good & the evil exist simultaneously in a person & are constantly at war with each other...its he who knows which one to use when makes the difference...

Sangeet & me...

music to me... :)(i am still wearing that wide multi interpretative smile)..i am still wondering can any damn words in the world ever do justice to what music means to me?? may be not... but i'll definitely not quit untried...so..music for me is that companion of mine who is associated with every phase of my physical,intellectual & emotional growth...i cannot recall one important pal of life which can't be connected to notes... its synonymous to my existence...& i call it sangeet coz thats how i first heard of it...
now i know, that was a poor try( to pen down whats music to me)...but i am happy i tried...the sangeet connect :

namm gum jaega...chehra ye badal jaega...meri awaz hi pehchaan hai...gar yaad rahe...

Unmasked...

"Kaha kisi ke liye hai mumkin... sabke liye ek sa hona... thoda sa dil mera bura hai
thoda bhala hai seene mein...Awarapan banjarapan...ek hala hai seene mein"...
Everytime i listen to this song...& specially these lines,i lament at how superficially & momentarily a person is judged in every walk of life by every person coming his way...nobody can ever be a perfect human but every body keeps improvising themselves as perfect judges...
The masked advice you to be unmasked & yet are not prepared for your unmasked being...ironical...but very true..

Procrastination...

I am right now feeling contended sliding another set of jobs for "tomorrow".To keep postponing things to an uncertain time frame named "tomorrow" is just so tempting...i always used to keep resolving to quit procrastinating which i feel is sheer end product of laziness, but ended up putting these resolutions for "tomorrow"...
i emoted in a mixed way (amused & confused) reading the Wikipedia for procrastination...summary - kind of mental incapacitance...to again push my thresholds of self control i decided to take discipline seriously... for quite as long as a couple of months i was strictly on a "kal kare so aaj kar aaj kare so ab" fatwa...& believe me being so damn structured does help a lot...but then i started missing my orderly chaos ...now i was faced with individuality v/s good change...i drew a golden mean... "change is good only till it modifies you...if it metamorphoses you into someone you just aren't....that's unfair to God Himself". a proud me loved my solution...since then i keep enjoying the rhapsody in my life...

Who am I?

i was going through an article on self realisation today & the words in bold, kind of induced deja vue.."who am i"? the page said.... it made me nostalgic with sleepless nights during which pondering over this question was a good idea...flashes of the old probabilities coupled with new inquiries minus value additions accompanied me till a priority rationale made its way..it goes like...who am i? the one that i know? the one that the world knows? or the one that god knows? am i here for a purpose? i can sense so many of them, which one exactly? or all of them? all of them possible if i die tomorrow? why the heck do i need these answers? will they make a difference? may be..may be not...& another quest goes unanswered...i shooed away the thought resolving its a pointless investment & at the same time knowing somewhere deep that it'd return to my phasual idleness with ..additives!!

Rising in Love..

Falling in love you remain a child; rising in love you mature. By and by love becomes not a relationship, it becomes a state of your being. Not that you are in love - now you are love....in love with this piece of enlightenment by OSHO...

The road less travelled..

As I took the road less traveled...the trees waved to me as the wind kissed my being...I closed my eyes to see a virgin horizon taking its first breath...

Off Guard

Lately i am in love with this word "off guard"...the best & the worst moments of time catching u off guard with such an intensity & so closely that u take ur own time differentiating between them....strange isnt it?..i try thinking 'bout reasoning this "off guard" situation & keep wondering...what do we enjoy more?..preparing for a happy moment or living through that moment...& as it's the former in my case what right does God have "treating" me "off guard"??

Lost & found

The easiest way to find something lost is to buy a replacement.

Change...

Off to Pune ...

Who is happier?

Who is happier? ... a winner who has a lot to lose or a looser who has nothing to lose?

The best couple in the world...

The best couple in the world? ....Smile and tears......Usually they r not seen together ,but when they r together its the best moment of  life....

Wisdom personified...

There is no other better source of wisdom than two drunk men...

Ego...

Today i witnessed ...what is an ego? a false conviction that u r actually not as big a loser as u believe u r...

Lazy lamhe..

There's no other bliss than a late rise,  bed coffee & a whole day with a couch & books...

Gift for the rain...

I am happy...it poured.. & the showers washed away a plethora of intermingling senses...my mind blanked away & kishor kumar sang "aae tum yaad mujhe...gaane lagi har dhadkan ...khushboo layi pawan...mehka chandan..."

To begin with...

My fav song...