Back to LIFE with a BANG!!!!

Back to LIFE with a BANG!!!!....A lot of realizations and revelations have made me happier lately...As though a heavy load has been taken off my being..:)..Life is beautiful the way it is...with all its imperfections call them challenges that keep the spirit in you alive...The problems life faces you with are not the ones that menace you, your approach towards the problems, your thoughts throughout the process of problem solving and the feelings your thoughts give you are the real culprits. The universe has unique ways of delivering its messages to us.At times when everything falls apart it is when the universe wishes you to find happiness by starting afresh...through every not so pleasant episode in our lives, the universe teaches us a valuable lesson for life which in the rosy circumstances we would never have learnt. as kids when we first learn to cycle we encounter falls leaving us with wounds. The one who looks at a wound like an injustice done by the universe never learns to cycle and the one who looks at the wound as a message from the universe to not repeat the mistakes that led to the wound, cautiously and then fearlessly learns to cycle. Similarly in life our happiness depends a lot on what we perceive our problems like. Many times when we wait for the circumstances to change, God is waiting for the circumstances to change us...
Happiness does not depend on what you have... neither does it depend on conditions... Happiness is a state of mind which can be achieved when you do not define your comfort zone, when you understand that all that is unfamiliar might not be wrong and when you appreciate the important lesson every hardship or setback teaches you...
And as for people..important people will always remain important...let them remain important but dont let them lead you to reactions...No body in this world is important enough to make you react in a way that puts you down to what you are not ....Anais Nin says we look at things not as they are but as we are...people will continue to look at things as "they" are...let them...You can only take responsibility of your actions and reactions...Taking responsibility for your acts and replacing resentment with forgiveness makes you feel liberated....Life is too short to get stuck in the past...Past is dead...dont let its ghosts haunt your present and affect your future...  

Quest Again...

Hi all...It has been a really really long time I wrote something...not that I didnt think of writing...or not that I didnt have inspirations..probably a missing driving force or more so developments...
developments that dont let you think..developments that take toll of you...Its more like an invisible energy leading you and you trotting behind aimlessly and it does not occur to you if the direction is even right?

They say life is a journey not a destination...& this journey should be enjoyed...but is it worth enjoying the journey if it does not take you to your destination...I say life might be a journey but to make this continuance joyous there are several links that serve as destinations at that particular point of time...
Since a long time I am introspecting

What is happiness? 

Every new situation in life gets me to this question and i get amazed with the varied probable answers generated by varied situations in varied frames of mind.I say "probable" because no answer is absolute. in the existing frame of mind i again ask...

"What is happiness"?

the question that follows is

"Why do we have to depend on others for our happiness"?

 Is it right to do so?

 if i say yes it is ...then why aren't "those" others concerned...
& if i say no..it is not right to depend on others for our happiness, why do we need to have people in our lives to occupy places high enough to affect us?
But then life would have been that easy a deal..how would I have put on my thinking hat and tried to poke my long nose in HIS business about designing minds and decorating life  

Reviving a dead battery..

Whoa!! long time baad..I am back...it'd be an absolute travesty if i say i  had no time..rather there has been a build up of affairs to be posted...procrastination my friend...says it all ..:)
happy to be back into rolling to my love of all times -WRITING...:)
recently a happenstance made me happy...my love for my Toshiba Satellite 650 has already been proven here by my painstaking efforts to capitalize the "t" & "s" of my lappy's identity..well laptop love is not unique to me.. i have seen people go to  varied lengths of lappy love... liiikee...cleaning the lappy more than themselves, getting a fortress like 3-4 layer covering for it...talking to the lappy & so on..:)...i am a bit less obsessed...i handle the lappy as roughly as i handle most of the things i love the most...
one fine day i noticed that the lappy stopped charging...the mouse-over icon said "plugged in, charging" but even after a considerable time of charging it did not seem to hold any charge... quite unlikely for the 1.5 year old battery to die such an early death...i flipped through google pages to find out what do bereaved souls like me generically do..strongly hoping i would not be forced to part ways with the battery...
for my first installment of search..google declared my battery as dead..& then on the 6th or 7th page(yes i am a patience queen with search engines...i dont shun the case after 2 pages..) i found someone talking of how to revive a dead battery..the site said freeze the battery for 12 hours & it'll live miraculously as it happens to central characters in bollywood flicks...temperature variation works to this extent...i somehow wasnt convinced...ironically another site said.. freezing will kill your dead battery..:)..i shunned the idea only to end up freezing my battery overnight..the next morning i removed it from the freezer...gave it a dramatic" tum nahi mar sakti" kind of look...& with complete faith in the experiment, inserted the battery in place & with it plugged in switched on the laptop...the icon said "0% available, plugged in charging"..in frantic hope, a few minutes later i again maneuvered to the icon & it said 3% available...after a few more minutes it again said 3% available...i then took an about turn & headed straight to people who knew where to get new batteries from...forgetting about the lappy in the routine...i returned back to it in an hour or so...aimlessly & thoughtlessly as per my newly cultivated habit of steering the mouse to the battery icon & expect positive developments..i hovered over the icon & yes...it said 100% charged...:)..so freezing the battery worked...now let me precisely put up the steps to revive a dead battery for the mankind of my kind...
1.) if ur battery icon shows" 0% available , charging" & not holding the charge, before discarding it make sure it is dead by freezing it
2.) completely discharge the battery by unplugging the adapter & pressing the switch on for a few secs...
3.) remove the battery, place it in a zip pouch making sure any type of condensation wudnt wet the battery
4.) freeze it for about 12 hours..
5.) after 12 hours, let it come to room temperature..& insert it back onto a switched off laptop..( never deal with battery in a switched on laptop)...
6.) plug in & let it charge for a few hours switched off..
7.) switch on & see if it says fully charged...if it says so the battery has chances to survive...
8.) let it charge and discharge fully for several times...
younger batteries will function like new & a bit older will merely function a few more times before dying down...
so....i finally managed to patiently document one of the successful experiments with a personal touch.... i hope the future generation loves me for this....:)   

The show must go on... - Queen

Empty spaces - what are we living for 

Abandoned places - I guess we know the score 

On and on, does anybody know what we are looking for... 

Another hero, another mindless crime 

Behind the curtain, in the pantomime 

Hold the line, does anybody want to take it anymore

The show must go on, 

The show must go on 

Inside my heart is breaking 

My make-up may be flaking 

But my smile still stays on.

Whatever happens, I'll leave it all to chance 

Another heartache, another failed romance 

On and on, does anybody know what we are living for? 

I guess I'm learning, I must be warmer now 

I'll soon be turning, round the corner now 

Outside the dawn is breaking 

But inside in the dark I'm aching to be free

The show must go on 

The show must go on 

Inside my heart is breaking 

My make-up may be flaking 

But my smile still stays on 

My soul is painted like the wings of butterflies 

Fairytales of yesterday will grow but never die 

I can fly - my friends 

The show must go on 

The show must go on 

I'll face it with a grin 

I'm never giving in 

On - with the show - 

I'll top the bill, I'll overkill 

I have to find the will to carry on 

On with the - 

On with the show - 

The show must go on... 

Freddie's last song ... THE SHOW MUST GO ON ...:)

And the shadow of the day Will embrace the world in grey...

I close both locks below the window
I close both blinds and turn away

Sometimes solutions aren't so simple
Sometimes good bye's the only way


 hmmm...farewell time...this little virtual "hawan" to give away "ahuti" of many of the baggage that shouldn't be carried along any longer...
assuming responsibilities -swaha....
misplaced ownership - swaha....
emotional dependance on something which at the end of the day is not yours - swaha...
assume consequences & delay to act - swaha...
This Linkin Park song as a prelude to the very Indian but virtual & only literary "hawan"seemingly makes me happier

Lighter side :)

Some great one liners i came across :)

1. Regular naps prevent old age… especially if you take them while driving.

2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.

3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

4. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.

5. A child’s greatest period of growth is the month after you’ve purchased new school uniforms.

6. Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

7. Don’t marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without… but whatever you 

   do, you’ll regret it later.

8. You can’t buy love . . but you pay heavily for it.

9. True friends stab you in the front.

10. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.

11. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

12. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

13. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me.

14. Those who can’t laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

15. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

16. It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

17. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.

18. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

19. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.

20. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.

21.If your father is a poor man,It is your fate but,If your father-in-law is a poor man,It's your stupidity.

22.Behind every successful man, there is a woman And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two 

     women.

23. Every man should marry.After all, happiness is not the only thing in Life.

24.Success is a relative term.It brings so many relatives.

25."Your future depends on your dreams"So go to sleep

26.The wise never marry.And when they marry they become otherwise.

 

Emotional Dependance...

Why does life give u a run for every thing u truly feel for ? probably for u to value that thing more than u usually would have done.. since last 2 months this "piece of literature" has been like a baby to me...i  recently realized that the only difference between an actual child and a brain child in biology....this has changed the way i emote...after quite a long time i felt something worthy enough to be only thought of giving a damn to the rest of the world...the plethora of emotions i went through during its inception from being elated, ecstatic, intrigued, irritated, frustrated, fierce, upset, hurt needlessly proves my attachment to this brain child of mine...The Creator's ego is dangerous... i am weary of this emotional dependance...all i care for is the journey...the destination is the bonus...

Rain...

Rain...the best medium for getting memory collages out of u...nature affects one biologically is proven ..but rains r something which affect one at mostly the psychological level...in my own case i've been witnessing rains since childhood...but every rain occurrence has a different story to tell...the stories which, when one rekindles, he gets to explore a new aspect to life...on a generic note, the experience that rains induce in humankind as a whole is more or less the same coz it gets all five sensory organs working instigating the sixth to work as well..:)...be it the typical earthen fragrance of the moist soil...be it the brushes of the moisture laden wind... be it the sight of the perfectly rhythmic raindrops... be it the specific sound pattern that these drops kiss the earth with...or be it the feel of these drops rolling through ur  face...divine isn't it? ...well but all stories associated with rains aren't only pleasant ... some situations r powerful enough to supersede the phenomenal divinity & make their conditioning more pronounced...
i at times ponder over the dialogue that constantly keeps happening between the "seasoning by the nature" and "conditioning by the society"  ... the latter i feel is dominant...& thats why we have forgotten to draw joys out of small things like mere sensitivity towards nature....its said that history repeats itself...if only the current expectations from the quality of life get replaced by the age old ones...man would be way happier then...

People...(3)

i can definitely not let go of this thread without mentioning the people who make u feel good about knowing them...importantly irrespective of how good or bad u r to them... the people of whom ur principal good memories r made of ...
the previous posts on "people" were more of observation & less of personal experience...but this one has a dash of personal experience by personifying the observations...
the sameer & amit dadas ...(security givers).the ones those pamper u with unconditional love & heart warming brotherly security...the ones u know r 1 call apart even at midnight...the ones u know would never mention if they r bothered coz of u...& (only u 2 can love me- from doing my stupid school homework to the extent of tying my shoe laces...love u so much)
the Audrie misses ...(the confidence boosters) the ones that try their best to showcase ur talents to the rest of the world...the ones that imbibe confidence in the foundation age... the ones that selflessly  give u opportunities to prove urself & applaud when u start becoming a go getter.... at a tender age this is what matters a lot...

the dharinis...(the "i am always there for u ones")the ones those stand by u through thick & thin...the ones who genuinely care...the ones u can share ur vulnerability with...the ones who'll fight hell with u but kill those who'll lay a finger on u...ur partners in crime...:)...the ones who define a sister :)
the guddi tais ...(the foster moms) the ones who selflessly act as a foster mom to u....the ones whose eyes keep getting moist when u meet them after long...the ones who bully u & u actually dont mind it...:)
the sister maritas...(the true critics) ...the ones who blast u enough to make u push ur thresholds of perfection higher & also make u silently curse them &...then end up telling ur parents they r lucky enough to have u...
the monus(bhai/dadu)...(the support systems) ... the ones u can trust with ur decisions...the ones who'd think 10 times before commenting on ur decisions taking care nothing goes wrong with u...  the ones that just dont let u give up...
the pujas ...(chod na yaar ones)... the ones that blow off ur worries & dont let u fret at all...the ones that make u feel happy & only happy when they r around...
the mayurs... ( the good humans) ... the ones that make u believe in humanity & that it still exists...the ones those r ever ready to help...the ones those who share cute kiddo memories with :)
the suvarnas ...(the obligers)...the ones who may not get one square meal a day but still they oblige u by their heartfelt "duas" ... "from the bottom of the heart" wishes are the rarest these days...
the rishabhs...(friends for life)...the ones those make u feel special...the ones who help u restore ur self faith when it gets unstable at times...the ones those understand that mood swings dont define a person...the ones that dont judge u from instances...the ones who genuinely care...
the shwetas ...(friends for life)...the ones who actually make u sit & think if u 2 had a past life relation coz sudden proximity remains unanswered...the ones that don't need words to be explained...the connection works...
the vishals ....(the trustworthy)...the ones those r impulsive , impressionable & lock horns very often but those who u can talk ur heart out...the ones those u might have superficial differences with but u know they wont ever breach ur trust...
the amits...(the chivalrous)...the ones who know how to talk to a woman....the ones whose concern doesn't smell of male chauvinism....

more shades of people coming up soon...

         

People...(2)

& the list continues....

the keyboard warriors... those who r physically, mentally or more of intellectually incapable of facing u or in other words those gutless cowards who make use of the keyboard as a weapon and actually be happy about it  are the ones i call keyboard warriors or the biggest losers... 

the "well" tadpoles ...the loser egoists surrounded by their good for nothing ego &  similar people as their world ,who actually refuse to creep out of their false world & face the real world just because they know they wont survive...

the slang hurlers ...a bunch of insecure & "scared from within" craps who exhibit how  scared they r by making slang come to their rescue...

the "self assumed - clever" selfish... the ones who think they have so called cleverly wrapped their selfish motives in sugar coated words of concern & they feel the rest of the world is dumb enough to buy it...

the "convenient" amnesiacs...the ones who conveniently forget a good Samaritan's deed coz of either exceptionally low self worth resulting into intentional impaired vision to any good done to them ever; or materialistic motives... i keep bumping into this kind very often... most of these avail ur unconditional help mostly emotional help & dont think twice before spiting venom against u...it shows their make...

the "i also exist " ones ... the ones whose existence is taken so much for granted that they need to work their asses out to make themselves felt... in other words the ones that show off to the extent that people get amused out of it....mock phone calls made when in a group to make the conversation highlighting expenses "heard" , deliberate mentions of the rich & the famous as if they r ur neighbours :) , deliberate increase in tone when a target is around, public display of affection ....r their few traits...

when i was a kid, my aaji always used to tell me..."aaplya barobarichya lokanshich maitri karaychi"...my aai always intervened that by "barobari" she meant equal or more in intellect but i always knew that by "barobari" aaji meant equal majorly in finance.... i didnt listen to either of them...how wud i have acquired a rich experience in observing different shades of people with respect to different setpus, natures & upbringings if i wud have only equals as my surrounding? :)

People...

life introduces u to different kinds of people u wont be that happy to meet... i categorize them as ....
the imposters...the ones who'll pose in ur presence & be totally contradictory in ur absence & actually believe their double faces wont be ever seen by u...
the false believers...the ones who r very happy with the false notion that they have fooled u & end up making a fool of themselves in ur eyes...i actually get amused at their beliefs
the masquerades....the ones who create a good 1st impression but fail to hang on to it for longer....
the loser egoists...the ones who have exaggerated egos which have been generally arisen out of the "i am good for nothing" honest opinion they have of themselves...
recently got to study this category closely...they pose as if they run the  world...& the moment their delusion is broken they show their true colours...they r huge parasites...they r constantly in an effort to conceal their failures by trying to govern others life....
i pity this category the most...the 1st 3 kinds may be due to circumstances or upbringing...but this kind has to do with the subconscious...
ignorance is bliss it is said...& i am blessed with the knowledge of assessing people in meager time... what am i lucky or unlucky?  
 

Disparity...

2 days from today would be my first ever paper presentation at an international conference...i should be excited...if not excited, nervous atleast...but my mind is not even visiting the thoughts 'bout the conference...its stuck....stuck at something i wont get even if i keep yearning for it for an entire lifetime...the piano at school...i can actually write a memory book on it...i still vividly remember how happy i was when Sister Marita had caught me meddling with the keys of the piano and attempting Hindustani Classical over it...in a "bunked class"...and after a long lecture on how advanced my move of bunking class in class VI was (and so how desperately i needed to rush to the confession box to get over with this sin of mine)...she had finally agreed to teach me to play it...
15 years...gosh..after 15 years its touch still felt the same...it was difficult but i could fight back that lump in the throat...when i felt that wood again...plethora of emotions I'd say...i actually thank u Almighty....that it was locked and the keys weren't available...it would have been very very difficult for me to stay composed once the music would have struck out...
i wish i could get that piano home...i wish i could relive all the beautiful ...beautiful memories it gifted me...
coz these instruments have given me far beyond what i could ever expect from the lifeless, i have personified them...drifting back to the notion of disparity... now who'll throw light over the faulty design of human psyche where the mind & the brain don't go hand in hand

Divinity personified...

Tera...Tujhko saunp de...
kya lagat hai mor..
mera mujhme kuch naahi..
jo hovat so tor...

Selfless faith can only be divine i believe... and you are divinity personified..Love you always....AAI...The best gifts in the world are those not demanded :)...

:)

:)

Sumptous sunday...

after full cream porridge for breakfast + cheesy mixed herb macroni & garlic lasagna for lunch , khichdi , besan and tadka for dinner tasted heavenly like never before :) jai maharashtra...

Joy to the world...the Lord has come...

Happy b'day  Christ :)

23rd December 1997

Christmas at Mount Carmel, class VIII(1997) :-)

Tableau vivant alongside the choir which sang the carol:

We three kings of Orient Are..Bearing gifts we traverse afar...Field and fountain, moor and mountain, Following yonder star...(me in blue as Mother Mary)

if only we had digi cams those days... i wish i find the other few pics that i had...i wish my walkie talkie baby doll still works as she did some 20 yrs back...

Santa are u listening...???

An end...or another beginning?

today a lengthy, cliched chapter comes to an end...i hate it when an end does not mean an end ... God forbid any type of resurrection whatsoever...

Mary's Boy Child, Jesus Christ was born on Christmas Day...

 Long time ago in Bethlehem
So the Holy Bible say
Mary's Boy Child, Jesus Christ
Was born on Christmas Day
Hark, now hear the angels sing
"New King's born today
And man will live forevermore
Because of Christmas Day."

Joseph and his wife Mary
Came to Bethlehem that night
They found no place to bear her Child
Not a single room in sight
Trumpets sound and angels sing
Listen to what they say
That man will live forevermore
Because of Christmas Day

cant remember more of the carol...
i still remember how proud i had felt when this carol was played in the movie "titanic" and i sang along to a non carmelite friend who stared at me as if Cameron had stolen my song for his movie :)...i am soooooooooo badly missing school specially this week :((

If only....

why cant we just stop thinking? an analytical mind can be so disastrous, i never heeded ...why did i ever teach myself to think detached? anticipating acknowledgements, reciprocations or for a matter of fact simply (universally)sane behaviour is an "expectation"? since when? or i am not defining "expectations" in the correct way?...can the sanest of the sane remain unfazed even with the knowledge that the people in concern are naive, impressionable and easily influenced...if only...if only i knew where did i go wrong? both rationally and morally?